SOMETIMES I THINK !!!

Sometimes I think and CONFUSION, it is what I end up with.

I know, I am thinking about something which is actually nothing to think. If anything has to happen then it will happen and in no way I can stop it. So there is nothing to think about such thing. But also, sometimes I think.

I am happy, satisfied and fine, but why can’t I smile when I think about it? Why I get a kind of flaw if I say I am good. Is it that I have done something wrong? Or is it that I have done nothing good?

I have never hurt anybody. How can I? I am sensitive and I feel pain when I see someone getting hurt. Yeah, I was hurting myself many times just to make others smile. But I have never been bad to anybody.

No doubt, I don’t have enemies. Everybody loves me. They care about me. Ok, they don’t say it, but love and care is what that need not to be expressed. Indeed, it is to be felt. I have felt it. I believe when I will be in need they will be there to help me. But sometimes I think… will they? I know the worth of friendship. I have always tried my best to be good with them. I never say no to them when they need me or they wish me to do something for them. But does it mean they really do care me? Or is it that to get their things done, they are faking their intimacy? Oh God!! I wish I had a power to sieve the truth so that I won’t never get betrayed. 

Forget it. Nothing matters. This is how it goes. EXPECTATION! You want something, you get it, and you become happy. If you don't get it you become sad.

It is not like a flash notification that comes in your Fb wall and everybody will be notified that you are feeling sad or lonely, so that they can come and help you out of it. And no person in this world has such a magic that makes them read your actual feelings unless you tell them. You say you need their help then surely they will help you, if they don't, they are not your genuine friend. 

Whatever, we must brave our feelings, learn from our past and brace our present. Be good, do good. If you are good, then everybody will be good to you. For sure, they won’t be bad for you. 

No way can anyone be perfect. Neither am I. It’s funny how I always want to love and care everybody and invariably end up being alone like a lonely statue on the corner of the silent room that nobody loves and cares. It’s even funnier how I never wish a lonely corner for myself, but always find it as if it is totally required and later enjoy myself loving it. Like a beautiful painting, everyone comes and get surprised or pleased looking at it. But they never see the stain in the frame. But the artist who reverences art does and he cleans it off because he knows the worth of it. Same way, everybody can’t be an artist. And somebody must be there who can give you ‘JADU KI JHAPPI’ realizing that you are in need of it. Also, if you can’t find one, then believe me, you are the artist that you need.

We all have such few things that we think if had not happened to us our life would have changed. Or we call our extant life as aftermath of such CIRCUMSTANCES. But what I believe is it is not only the situation that drives us to our present way of living or our current status. Moreover, it is our way of thinking as we are the only driver to drive our life. The thing we must keep in mind is we should take a right decision at the right time. And as always, I am thinking. So I am confused.